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Sunday, January 31, 2016

Hated it! Is it so wrong to hate sometimes?

Do you hear commercials, music, or jingles that there is no way to get around the fact that you hate them?

I mean sometimes to the point of not only can you not stand them, but sometimes where you just would like to go medieval on those involved?  Where you know you level of irritability outsizes the offending item?

Well, for fun, or at least to vent, I have to surrender the commercials, music or jingles that I viscerally hate.   I don't know if I will find agreement, laughter or shock with this list, but here goes a list of my top 10 least favorite or down right "hated it".

  1. The Craftmatic Adjustable Bed commercial.  A few people express how the bed is good for their.  However, there is a least one older lady is over the top.  She too eagerly and excitedly exclaims, "MY BAD BACK LOVES MY CRAFTMATIC ADJUSTABLE BED".  I am like, "lady get a room with that bed".  It's almost as if we are being made to suffer her desire to become one with the bed and not in a healthy way.  :D                                                               
  2. Tom Shane, the Shane Company.  Now he always kind of annoyed me, but over the holidays, in my book he completely destroyed his man card.  In the commercials, he portrayed himself asking some dopey guy what he'd get his lady for Christmas.  Clueless guy said, a vacuum cleaner or something to that effect.  Now, if that wasn't enough, that gender traitor--not using the b-word here--brought the lady on the line and had her shame and humiliate the clueless man.  I'm like whose side are you on Tom?  I'm like so you think its okay to portray the ambushing of a guy on the radio to get a buck.  Dude completely, lost my respect and business forever.  Let's just say, with him, I no longer have a friend in the diamond business.                                               
  3. The Spin Doctors - Two Princes.   Is it so wrong when he whines, "If you wanna call me baby, just go ahead now"... to want to smack him one?  I know it's wrong and I know it shows latent hostility on my part, but for Pete's sake dude, don't whine about a woman.  It is not befitting of a grown man.  Just talk to the lady, tell her simply that she has to choose and make it clear if you don't hear from her, you'll assume she's made her choice.  Then move on.  Don't whine about your dilemma.                                                                                                                          
  4. Vincent from ShamWow.  He talks on his mic headset on the commercial.  I can imagine him going everywhere with that mic headset: the store, a restaurant, home.  I can imagine him 'announcing' to his kids through it and them rolling their eyes and talking back to him, saying "Dad, you know that's really annoying".                                                                                          
  5. Head-On, apply directly to the forehead.  Do I really have to explain this one?                                   
  6. Mucinex.  Really having a depiction of slimy green mucous in the form of a mucous person is what everyone wants to see?                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                   
  7. Any shyster lawyer that advertises in off-peak hours and says if you or your loved one had this procedure, etc and it ended out in injury or death, call this number.   It occurred to me one time, if you were the victim of negligence and it ended in death for you, you wouldn't be calling them.   Just saying...                                                                                                                     
  8. Brown and Brown.  In IL, 618 all 8s  (618-888-8888).   In MO, 314 all 3s (314-333-3333).  So, one time it occurs to me.  Given number 7 above, it occurred to me, that maybe they should put if you are calling from h*ll, call all 6s.  I know that's wrong, but sometimes our secret thoughts don't have any tact.  ;-)                                                                                                                         
  9. Any commercial which expresses how some attorney will rescue you for pennies on the dollar if you are in trouble with the IRS.  Especially, the Alan Thicke ones.  I guess the acting gigs just aren't coming for him anymore?                                                                                                
  10. I Will Survive.   That might have been an empowering song one day a long time ago, but now it just sounds like a tired, stale old song of a bygone area.  It just grates on me.  Is that so wrong to hate on it?

I'm bettering each of you who read this has your own "love to hate" list.  Anyway, I feel much better and thank you for letting me share.

Old Standby where they "Hated It"

Saturday, January 30, 2016

Sabotage: When negative certainty feels better than uncertainty...

Ever have a physical ailment whose symptoms caused a good deal of discomfort, but you could not get to the bottom of what was wrong?  Whether or not you eventually got to the bottom of the problem, the uncertainty associated with it--of the prognosis,'cure' or course of treatment---caused a great deal of angst.    Alternatively, if we have a physical ailment which is obvious, we can immediately go into adjust, plan and fix-it mode.  That is to say we know what we are working and can focus on getting better or dealing with it effectively rather than stressing about what to do. The lesson we learn from that is  that sometimes a certainty--even if it is not a good one--is better than a unnerving uncertainty.  At least with a certainty, you could proceed to face up to the problem and determine a course of action: work to ameliorate the issue or symptoms or where that's not possible accept the outcome.

I started this particular entry a couple of weeks ago  (now 1/29/16), but got sidetracked.  I don't necessarily feel this way currently in my life, but I know I have felt this before.  Anyway, some of what I blog is personal experience, some of what I blog is insight from the experiences of others and some of what I blog is what occurs to me.  I don't claim everything I write is the absolute way it is.  Neither do I claim what I write works for everyone. But, I digress.  Some of this one is personal experience and some of it is what I've seen in others

I believe that relationships can roll this way also. While I am going to focus on romantic relationships, much of what I am talking about can apply to other relationships as well.   Anyway, when a relationship has a certain known quantity to it, a certain sense of peace and tranquility, a certain balance or sense of itself, even if it isn't perfect, it will have a good comfort level.  I believe that in some ways, people are creatures of comfort or familiar.  It is easier to deal with people when we have a fix on them and/or how they relate to us.  See 2D vs. 3D relationships for questions on how we understand (or don't) others.  In a sense, when there is contentment in this part of our lives, it is easier to want to keep things peaceful, not to make waves and just enjoy our "time out on the water".   We are more likely to feel this way in what I call a 3D relationship.

HOWEVER, I believe when we don't have a good fix on a relationship, such as with what I call a 2D relationship, we tend to feel like a boat this not moored or anchored.  That is we tend to be at the mercy of the elements.  Unease can take the following forms:
  • Uncertainty with what our significant other is really feeling about things including us.
  • Uncertainty with how to talk to or relate to our SO (significant other), sometimes to the point of walking on eggshells.
  • Uncertainty of how we actually fit into the relationship and/or if the relationship has a future.

So, what is the natural responses to uncertainty in relationships?
  • Working with the other to figure out the relationship.
    • Counseling
    • Working on communication aka 'talking it through'
  • Letting the uncertainty build up and take deep roots.
    • Resentment develops.
    • The sense of connection starts to die off.
  • Consciously or subconsciously behaving in such a way to end the uncomfortable (and sometimes brutal) uncertainty.
    • Could be pressing our SO until we get some sort of answer, good or bad.
    • Could be engaging in destructive behavior and caring less and less about the consequences.  
      • In a way, it is effectively like having a death wish for a relationship.
      • We want peace, but we can't have peace, yet we don't know how to get peace, yet we need it, yet we don't want to deal with consequences of what we might have to go through to get peace.  In a way, it is easier just throwing a stick of dynamite at the relationship and run like hell, hoping not don't have to face the fallout from the explosion.

I guess the takeaway from this particular blog is the following:
  • Focus on getting to know your partner, not knowing about him or her, but actually 'getting him or her'.  This will leave less room for damaging uncertainty.
  • Understand that some degree of uncertainty in life is unavoidable.  While it is not desirable, up to a certain point, it can/should be tolerable.   After all, our partner is another person with their own separate feelings and concerns.  We can't be perfect in understanding each other.
  • It is best to put things out there sooner rather than later.  While there is a risk of upsetting the apple cart, isn't it best to find that out whether the apple cart was even stable sooner rather than later? 
    • Denying or not facing problems doesn't make them go away.
    • Potentially, you've wasted time and effort on something that really wasn't stable, when you could have discovered it sooner.
    • Potentially, you've delayed the healing process.
The world is fully of uncertainty, yet life goes on.  Similarly, relationships can be full of uncertainty.  Isn't it better just to work on it and find out if the uncertainty can be removed or lessened rather than letting life go by wondering when the bottom could fall out?

Thanks for your read.