I've been around people who have had or dealt with kids with severe behavioral issues. It's seems more often than not there is/are underlying trauma(s) associated with them: child abuse/child sexual abuse, alcoholism/domestic violence, loss of a parent, and so forth. Obviously, these kids are at risk already. Then there are some people seem to live a charmed life. They are raised in an intact nurturing family where their family is not shattered by early deaths. They seem to do well in school, they have a good job and the 'American' dream. In short, apparently 'trauma-free'. As I've gotten older, I've realized that even people who appear to have the 'perfect family' growing up and a good life have will eventually face real traumas, but I digress.
Back to the point at hand. What is a trauma? According to the the American Heritage Dictionary of the English Language, 5th Edition. Tramua is:
- noun Serious injury to the body, as from physical violence or an accident.
- noun Severe emotional or mental distress caused by an experience.
- noun An experience that causes severe anxiety or emotional distress, such as rape or combat.
- noun An event or situation that causes great disruption or suffering.
In other words, it can result from something as basic as a friend turning on you or as complex as years of physical and sexual abuse. It can be caused by a one-time acute event such as rape or a bad car accident or it can be caused by years of gaslighting. In the worst situations, all of the above type causes could have contributed to it. In other words, there is no simple one-sized fits all circumstances definition of it and cause of trauma.
Throughout my life, I've heard people discuss their traumas or that of those around them. It reminds me sometimes of the "when I was growing up" discussion a bit. In other words, a bit of a pissing contest as it were. This takes me to the concept of first world vs. third world problems. People who grow up in a third world society would probably be grateful for some of the conveniences we have such as running water, a good sewer system, reliable power, plentiful food, reliable transportation. Yet, in the society in which I live, people can feel put out if we have to pour money into repairs on our autos, if we are stuck in traffic for an extended period of time, if our electricity is out for a number of hours, if we are without our cell phones for a few days, etc. I've always understood this to be first world problems vs. third world problems. In other words, more existential or severe than annoyances. Yet at the same time, the 'first world problems' are real and can cause hardships.
Back to the point at hand, people in their lives have trauma's. They can break a bone, can have a friendship end suddenly, can fail a course or at worst can have an elderly relative pass away. Those things matter and should not be dismissed or minimized to nothing. However, these are 'typical' traumas that everyone has to face anywhere in the world. They all matter and they all wound us at least a little, but just like a first world problems are an inconvenience, "first world traumas" are less likely to cause long-term physical and/or psychological damage. In other words, these type issues aren't as likely to be long term disabling ('existential') traumas. In short, these are traumas of lesser magnitude.
A young kid can have a parent die abruptly or see a parent repeatedly subjected to domestic violence, a women (or man) can be subjected to a brutal physical or sexual attack or long term sexual trauma, a person can get permanently injured or disfigured in an accident.or something of this magnitude. I call those 'third world level' traumas. These are traumas of serious magnitude. Just like 'third world problems' tend to be existential problems, 'third world level' traumas are traumas that are likely to cause significant long-term physical and/or psychological damage. That is to say, these are traumas of a greater magnitude and sometimes existential.
When we discuss 'first world', we think of less harsh than 'third world'. I felt by comparing traumas like this, it could help give some perspective.
I guess my overall point is this:
Throughout my life, I've heard people discuss their traumas or that of those around them. It reminds me sometimes of the "when I was growing up" discussion a bit. In other words, a bit of a pissing contest as it were. This takes me to the concept of first world vs. third world problems. People who grow up in a third world society would probably be grateful for some of the conveniences we have such as running water, a good sewer system, reliable power, plentiful food, reliable transportation. Yet, in the society in which I live, people can feel put out if we have to pour money into repairs on our autos, if we are stuck in traffic for an extended period of time, if our electricity is out for a number of hours, if we are without our cell phones for a few days, etc. I've always understood this to be first world problems vs. third world problems. In other words, more existential or severe than annoyances. Yet at the same time, the 'first world problems' are real and can cause hardships.
Back to the point at hand, people in their lives have trauma's. They can break a bone, can have a friendship end suddenly, can fail a course or at worst can have an elderly relative pass away. Those things matter and should not be dismissed or minimized to nothing. However, these are 'typical' traumas that everyone has to face anywhere in the world. They all matter and they all wound us at least a little, but just like a first world problems are an inconvenience, "first world traumas" are less likely to cause long-term physical and/or psychological damage. In other words, these type issues aren't as likely to be long term disabling ('existential') traumas. In short, these are traumas of lesser magnitude.
A young kid can have a parent die abruptly or see a parent repeatedly subjected to domestic violence, a women (or man) can be subjected to a brutal physical or sexual attack or long term sexual trauma, a person can get permanently injured or disfigured in an accident.or something of this magnitude. I call those 'third world level' traumas. These are traumas of serious magnitude. Just like 'third world problems' tend to be existential problems, 'third world level' traumas are traumas that are likely to cause significant long-term physical and/or psychological damage. That is to say, these are traumas of a greater magnitude and sometimes existential.
When we discuss 'first world', we think of less harsh than 'third world'. I felt by comparing traumas like this, it could help give some perspective.
I guess my overall point is this:
- All traumas, big or small, are worthy of attention, whether it be to the friendly ear of a favorite parent/sibling/friend, whether it be in the office of a grief or trauma counselor or somewhere in between. God hears all prayers, big or small. If He can do so, perhaps we can offer the same to those around us.
- Some traumas while hurtful are relatively 'easy' to recover from. In a number of weeks you can fix a broken bone. This to me is an example of 'first world' level or magnitude trauma, for example.
- Some traumas are so profound that they defy easy recovery. A soldier subjected to life and death surrounding him, especially for an extended him may not just be easily able to come home and resume his/her 'normal life'. A kid subjected to physical or sexual abuse may take year to unwind and process it all. This to me is a 'third world' or extreme level or magnitude trauma.
- We need to understand and appreciate the traumas people have had to face, but keep them in perspective. That's to say not dismiss what we consider small traumas, but realize that not all should be dealt with the same amount of care.
We can measure problems in our life by comparing them to those who are less fortunate in many places. This doesn't discount our problems, but it can give us some perspective. Comparing will not make our problems go away, it can allow us to appreciate that while things are rough, they could be much worse. Similarly, I believe we can measure traumas in our life by comparing to others who have gone through worse. Comparing will not make our 'lesser' traumas insignificant, but it can allow us some perspective to realize that they aren't the end of the world, just maybe a bit rough.
Just some thoughts going into the New Year.
Happy New Year 2020
- Rich
Just some thoughts going into the New Year.
Happy New Year 2020
- Rich