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Sunday, September 13, 2015

Just a gigolo - lacking a feeling of purpose or sense of being appreciated.

I think at times in most people's life they wonder: what am I here for or what is my purpose?  Alternatively they may wonder would I be missed if I wasn't here or would the people I know care about me if I couldn't do anything for them?  In other words, am I appreciated for who I am or just what I can do for others?

Sometimes it's a moment of insecurity.  Sometimes it's a stage of sadness or depression.  Sometimes, it's an idle curiosity.  I believe that some of wealthiest, most popular or famous people actually feel this more acutely.  They seemingly have more on the surface to offer.  So much so that people around them don't take the time to get to know them.  It is easier to enjoy the glow of their fame or the shower of their wealth than to actually invest in getting to know them.

Anyway, "Just a Gigolo" captures it perfectly: this sense of lacking purpose, reason and a curiosity if at the end of the day if one is appreciated.

In this video David Lee Roth is a singer, a VJ, a showman.   After recording a clip of "Dave TV", he has a small gaggle of people coming up to him looking for something from him: one needs David to autograph paperwork for her kids while the others seem to be yes men seeking to leech off his fame.

Anyway, he wonders what he would do if he could do his own video.

In the video he knows that he has something to offer--his companionship--and that will keep him busy and give him the false sense of being appreciated while he is young.  But, in his heart, he know that won't last.  In his heart he knows when he grows old, he won't be able to count on even that to keep him feeling appreciated.   In a sense, he wonders will anyone care about him when he apparently has nothing left to offer.   It is really quite sad.  He puts on a show with pizzazz with flair and apparent sense of fun, but in a way that just masks a sadness that he feels about his real value.

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What it has meant to me at times in the past:

Am I appreciated for shallow reasons--to provide a service or meet a shallow need of another?  Or am I sincerely appreciated for who I am and/or do I have a larger purpose? 

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What I see it can mean:

Does my employer appreciate me for the value I add or am I just a paid gun for hire to be disposed of when they've got what they needed out of me?

Just some idle thoughts.  Anyway, my daughter and marriage family helps me to realize that life just wouldn't go on without me.