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Showing posts with label assertive. Show all posts
Showing posts with label assertive. Show all posts

Saturday, November 21, 2020

A confidence game: Self-confidence


This whole election cycle has been draining more than usual.  Every four years we are told that this is the most important election in our nation's history.  Judging by the reaction to this one, however, I wonder if this is true this time?   But, I digress.  We choose our leader based on who we have the most confidence in (or who we have the lesser lack of confidence in).  Speaking of confidence, I was thinking about it this week.

I don't know how everyone else experience's confidence (or lack thereof), but the answer reminded me of my experience skydiving.  

DOUBTS

Moments of not feeling confident

  • I measure what I say.  To make sure what I say sounds good/smart/funny/clever...
  • I don't speak a point as assertively as if I hope you will agree.
  • I don't walk as confidently.
  • I tend to frown or be more serious.
  • I speak more haltingly as I analyze what I just said and/or will say next.
Skydiving 
  • I hold my emotions in tightly to not let fear overtake me.
  • I dread having to make the move out of the plane.
  • I hold on just a little longer before I jump out.
  • I tend to focus on making sure the bad thing doesn't happen, rather than enjoying the experience.
  • I move a little more cautiously.

CONFIDENCE

Feeling confident
  • I speak more from my gut or soul and don't pause to over-analyze it.
  • I express my point firmly as if I mean it and I expect you to understand (and possibly agree).
  • I walk more confidently.
  • I tend to have more lightness of being.
  • I speak very smoothly and continuously as if it comes naturally.
Skydiving
  • I've falling thought the clouds enjoying the ride smiling and enjoying it.
  • I am glad let go of the plane and I'm trusting my tandem instructor.
  • I confidently talk with my tandem instructor as I we are going through the air.
  • I focus on completing it successfully like a champ.
  • I am deliberate but 'sure-footed' as we land.

The point is when I am confident I focus less on myself and more on the issue or task at hand.  I don't fear being 'exposed' for the 'wrong' choice/decision, but instead am comfortable being observed.  In juggling terms, I feel like I am tossing up the multiple balls smoothly.  When I am not confident, I focus more on myself and how I look or questioning if I am doing it or saying it right.  I don't like an audience as I don't want others to see me make mistakes or screw up.  I 'fear' being seen as not being competent.  I feel like I am tossing multiple balls up in the air and having a hard time keeping in the air for any length of time.

Just just my take on confidence, specifically, self-confidence.  It is a freeing experience like soaring through the air without cord and not worrying if you are going crash or end with a thud.  As always, I hope other who read this can relate or at least get something out it.

Thanks for reading,
Rich