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Thursday, September 1, 2016

What is your "Piano in the Dark"?


Some songs just grab your attention for reasons you don't know and one day when you are listening to it many years later, their meaning hits you and you realize that there is probably a reason you have always loved or connected with the song.

In the late 1980s, Brenda Russell co-wrote and recorded Piano in the Dark.  The concept is at once both simple and involved.  The words and the music are powerful.  In the song, Ms. Russell's character is at a very disconnected place in her relationship.  It feels dead to her.   She's thinking she's strong enough to call it quits.  But, her mate knows how to reach her and as she is getting ready to leave, he plays the piano for her and she realizes that she still loves him.

For me "Piano in the Dark" is a synonym for that special something about your significant other pulls you in, that keeps you from leaving.  It is that special something about him or her that you just can't live without.

This got me to thinking the subject matter.  In your relationship, do you have that special something that your mate does, says or is about him/her that you can hold onto?  What is it about your relationship that keeps you there even through the rough spots?  This blog is essentially about what keeps people in relationships, even through the rough patches.

From what I see the following are one or more reason why people stay in relationships even through turbulent times, not necessarily in order of constructive:


  • Comfort factor.  Sometimes we've been with someone so long that the relationship feels like a well worn shoe.  In other words, not elegant, not necessarily even warm fuzzy, but comfortable.  Stephen Stills: Love the One Your With
  • Functional factor.  This can be for raising kid(s) together, convenient living arrangement, appearances, etc.   Sometimes, this can be a consideration or The Consideration.
  • Fear of the unknown or codependence factor.  Sometimes, the idea of 'starting over' is too overwhelming and it just seems easier just to stay together.  Sometimes, the idea of being without a someone, even if that someone doesn't treat us right, can be daunting, especially if we haven't spent enough time on ourselves.
  •  Honorable factor.  This can take the form of staying together for the sake of the kids or staying together because of a commitment to the Father or something similar.  I believe that these are good reasons to stay together in a lot of cases.  Definitely, take the children into account and definitely if you are married, don't think that a vow before God should be taken lightly.  Too many people do that.
  • Special factor.  There really is that something special about the other person that keeps drawing you to them.  It can be that voice, the way they are good with the kids, that sense of humor, that sweetness about them, the way they love you.  John Michael Montgomery: I Love the Way You Love Me

I would say we all, but there are some that don't care.  But most people hope that find that someone special and that what made their mate special will always light up a glow in their heart.  So, I will focus the rest of the blog entry on that.

I believe that it is important to spend a few moments from time to time in contemplation and prayer.  Remembering what it is about our mate that we love and to remind them from time to time why we love them.  Life can get hectic, difficult and/or cloudy and it is important to establish a pattern of keeping in mind what we like about our significant other.  But, perhaps even more importantly, spending a few minutes letting them know we are thinking about them.

So, I guess I will end this as a I started this by asking what is your "Piano in the Dark".  For me, it is my wife's warmth, the way she appreciates me--especially the side I don't like to publicly show and the way she cares for my daughter.  It helps that she's got that Creek Indian look about her ;-)

But, I digress, I challenge to find, remember or express what is your "Piano in the Dark".

----


When I find myself watching the time
I never think about all the funny things you said
I feel like it's dead
Where is it leading me now
I turn around in the still of the room
Knowing this is when I'm gonna make my move
Can't wait any longer
And I'm feeling stronger but oh
Just as I walk through the door
I can feel your emotion
It's pullin' me back
Back to love you
I know I'm caught up in the middle
I cry just a little
When I think of letting go
Oh no, gave up on the riddle
I cry just a little
When he plays piano in the dark
He holds me close like a thief of the heart
He plays a melody
Born to tear me all apart
The silence is broken
And no words are spoken but oh
Just as I walk through the door
I can feel your emotion
It's pullin' me back
Back to love you
I know I'm caught up in the middle
I cry just a little
When I think of letting go
Oh no, gave up on the riddle
I cry just a little
When he plays piano in the dark

--Written by Scott Cutler, Jeff Hull, Brenda Russell