Search This Blog

Tuesday, December 26, 2017

Accepting a Serving of Pie = Providing a Serving of Love

Christmas at my mom's house was always interesting.  She'd get gifts she thought were cool (even if we didn't need them or it wasn't our cup of tea.  We'd sometimes trade some of our gifts among each other until we got what we thought were the best gifts for each of us.  She'd always cook a lot of food and without fail she'd encourage us to take plenty home.  Sometimes we weren't in the mood to have ham, pie or casserole for days, but we saw how important it was to her.  So, we'd take it home and eat as much as we reasonably could over the next few days before we got sick of it or it just got too old.  After about a week, the guilt of throwing away the excess food that we couldn't eat anymore of (or that had gone bad) would have been assuaged and we could go on with our lives.

Looking back it was a little sad, but it was kind of funny.

My mom wanted to be loved.  She wanted to feel useful.  She wanted to feel important.  She wanted to know she mattered to her kids.  I think in most cases among her kids, these things were true, even if she wasn't always sure of it.  It was like a little dance in a way.
I get you many affordable trinkets of my love--some really needed and others not so much--and I hope think well of me.  I feed you and provide you all the food you'd ever want and remember that I love you (and hope you feel the same way too).
I learned a valuable lesson from her.  Love doesn't have to be perfect, love can be a little needy, love can hope it is returned, but the main thing is the person providing it is trying.  They sincerely want to share it with you.  In and of itself there is immense value in that.  If someone treats you with warmth and kindness and tries to be there for you, does it really matter if it isn't always 100% on the mark or part of the motive for it could be hoping to get it back?  Sometimes showing love is accepting that token, that attempt, that (sometimes imperfect) effort the other is showing you.  Sure, I may have not needed that piece of pie or leftover pie or helpings of turkey, but how hard is it to put away my pride or put away my "oh you really didn't have to do that" or  my "I can't take all this home" How hard is it to accept the 'serving of pie', the gift of love?

God blesses us with people in our lives, people that are willing to make that extra effort to show us warmth, even if sometimes their desire to be loved or appreciated may seem over the top, I think it is important to be grateful for them and love them and show love to them for whom they are.  They may embarrass you at times, but dammit they are sometimes the sweetest people.  

As you might sense, this post actually hurts a bit to write.  I was blessed with a sweet mom who put up with my flaws and idiosyncrasies and all she asked was for a little bit of love in return.  God blessed me with a realization of this as I worked my way from young adulthood to "middle-aged".

I love you and miss you mom.  I wish I could have slowed down and spent more time with you (Even if by phone).  When given the gift of leftover turkey or pie, I will gladly take it home in your honor.

- Rich

(My mom passed away July 6th, 2014 to be at eternal peace with her Higher Power-God)