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Monday, December 25, 2017

I won't tell no one your name: Being a True Friend



With Christmas Season (2017) in full swing, I was feeling this message about love and trying to be there for others,  Anyway, I tend to like music with a message, with feel, with meaning.  I guess that's why I like the song  "Grease".  ;-)  Comic relief aside, I was listening to one of my favorite songs from the 1990s: The Goo Goo Dolls' "Name".  I read some of the lyrics below and the take immediately following it on Lyrics Interpretations:

"Its lonely where you are, come back down, and I won't tell 'em your name" 
The take 
"This place you are in mentally/spiritually/emotionally is lonely, you guard yourself from reality and alienate yourself from those who care about you. Come back to reality, let go of your pride and embrace your shortcomings so you can heal. I won't expose, exploit or otherwise hurt you."
Songs (which many can be considered poetry) often have a way of expressing a complex idea in a couple phrases.

Sometimes we aren't in the best place. Sometimes we want to come to reconnect, but "we don't know how".  Sometimes we want to reconnect but we don't feel that it is safe to try.  Sometimes the hurt--or perceived risk of it--that comes from making ourselves vulnerable keeps from engaging those who care about us.  We really want to open up, but like an animal who is out of its usual surroundings we have to get a sense that it is safe before we venture too far out (emotionally).


The holidays are time in which we get the opportunity to connect with the ones we love.  However, for many people it is a time of loneliness or hurt.  

  • Feeling the loss more acutely of those close to us whom have passed.
  • Feeling the lack of a close knit family.
  • In a new situation or surrounding in which our routine has been interrupted (temporarily or permanently).

Whatever the cause, the holidays can be a time of hurt for some.  Ultimately healing is journey in which we have to find our way.  However, having those close to us can guide or at least walk along with us in our journey.  Sometimes all we need is someone who will listen to us without judgment, but instead with love.  We all have been there (or will be there) sometime in our life.   For those with an abundance of serenity, we can't necessarily, nor is it our job to 'fix' love ones around us.  However, what we can offer is love--in the form of being there for others who are hurting.  It can be a family member, a friend, a coworker, a member of one of our groups, or frankly it can be the stranger in line at the store who looks like they could use a friendly ear.

We can give CDs, electronics, gift cards, clothes, etc.  However, the best gift we can ever give to others is sometimes just our empathy and willingness to be there even when our heart may not totally be into it.

So, as we are serving a slice of turkey, a slice of desert or slice of toasted bread, consider also serving a slice of love to those whom we are blessed with the opportunity to be a blessing to.  Listen with empathy, listen with compassion, listen without judgment, but most of all, listen with love.

May God bless your Christmas season this year.

-- Rich