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Thursday, March 9, 2017

The insane voice, installment 7: The contrarian.

As I've went from childhood to adulthood, my life was animated by questioning everything.  I've always been a truth-seeker.  But, part of being a truth-seeker to me is asking the questions that no one else asks.  That is, the what ifs.  In that vein, I like to think of my self as a contrarian.  Sometimes that comes out as "the devil's advocate", sometimes that comes out as sarcasm and sometimes it comes out as "out there".  I will let you determine which category each of these thoughts fall into.  In the meantime, please enjoy the Installment 7 of "The Insane Voice".


1) One time I was reading through an Entertainment coupon book and noticed that some of the coupons said "Enjoy a free such and such with the purchase of a such and such".  It occurred to me that the vendor/store in the Entertainment book was kind of bossing me around.  It wasn't like "we hope you enjoy" or "Have a free" or anything like that, but instead almost a demand that I enjoy the free such and such.  I one time while using a coupon at the store, said to them, "What happens if I decide to get the free one, but not enjoy it?"  They were left speechless.  I believe I won that encounter.  HA

2) While at physical therapy the other day, U2 was playing, "I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For" and you know how serious and preachy Bono is.  It occurred to me, "Has he found what he's looking for yet?" and "Isn't 30 years long enough to find it?" and "If you can't find what your looking for, isn't it just time to shut up and give it a rest?"

3) So, we all know about the "Little Boy Who Cried Wolf".  But, who have has given thought to the "Wolf Who Cried Little Boy"?   Didn't see that coming did ya?  Anyway, I figure his fellow wolves probably get sick of him crying "little boy" and them coming to discover there was no little boy out there to chase after.  Finally one day after they'd had enough he legitimately cried, "little boy" and they ignored him,  So, he went after the little boy without the others having his back and got a beatdown from the little boy, thereby teaching him not to cry "little boy" recklessly.

4) The song "Black Widow" by Iggy Izalea, she sing the line "I'm going to love ya until you hate me".  It occurred to me, what if it was turned around: "I'm going to hate ya until you love me. Would the song be called "Loveable Jerk"?

5) So one time I saw a clerk name "Mary" at Walgreens and I was in a particularly goofy mood and asked her, "Why you always gotta be so contrary?"  As if not missing a beat, Mary the clerk said, "Well someone's gotta be".  Suffice to say, clerk Mary won that match.  BOO

6) I may have mentioned this before.  But when my dad was dying and my old minister visited him in the hospital with me, we were at the elevator and I said to him, "How long have you been practicing" in relation to his time in the minister.  It was 20-something years if I recall.  So, it occurred to me and I posed this to him:  "If practice makes perfect and you've been practicing for a long time, does that mean that you're perfect?"  He gave his, "yeah wise guy" type smile and said, "It doesn't exactly work that way."  Good comeback.

7) I recently went to subway to pick up food for the family and noticed a sign on the door: "Now Hiring Great People" and something occurred to me. Does that mean they used to hire lousy people?  I went in and asked and they laughed.  I said, no offense to you guys, they probably already got rid of the lousy ones.

8) If men are from Mars and women are from Venus, where are those who have gender identity confusion from?  I will leave that one right there and if you find this rude, just remember I didn't put the rude thought in your mind that you are thinking right now.   ^..^ 


On that note, I will bid you all a fond farewell.  Adios, goodbye, cya, ciao, bon voyage and so on and so forth...  Until next time.